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Yugo Humor
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Be sure to check out the humorous stories also found on the Yarns & Tales, Model T Fun, Blondes & Their Cars, and One-Liners & Shorts pages.
If you have a favorite story about a Yugo that you would like to add to our list, you can send it to us using the Submit Humor form or if you prefer, by e-mail.
Just browse the tales below or select a story:
Use 
at the end of each tale to return to the Humor page.
A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I've got one in my Yugo!" The Rolls & the Yugo
The driver of the Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a phone."
The driver of the Yugo says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there, too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!"
The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a refrigerator."
The driver of the Yugo says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!"
The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of course, I have a television. A Rolls Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!"
The driver of the Yugo says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!"
Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls Royce sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls. The next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.
So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Yugo, and he drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Yugo. When there wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.
"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls Royce," the driver of the Rolls stated arrogantly.
The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said, "You got me out of the shower for that??"
As a little girl is coming out of school, a man pulls up in his car, rolls down the window and says to her, "I'll give you a sweet if you'll get in the car with me." 
Sweets
The little girl says, "No, I not getting in the car."
The next day the same man pulls up again, rolls down the window and says to the same little girl, "I'll give you two sweets if you'll get in the car with me."
The little girl repeats, "No, I'm not getting in the car."
The third day the man pulls up and offers her a whole bag of sweets if she will get into the car.
"No Dad," replies the girl, "There's no way I'm getting into the Yugo!"
One-Liners & Shorts
Q: What's the difference between a Yugo and a Jehovah's Witness? A: You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness!
Q: How do you make a Yugo accelerate from zero to 60 mph in less than 15 seconds? A: Push it off a cliff.
Q: What is found on the last two pages of every Yugo owner's manual? A: The bus schedule.
Q: What do they do with junked Yugos? A: Recycle them into tin cans.
Q: Why do Yugo owners never carry a map? A: It'll never get far enough to get lost!
Q: What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill? A: A mirage.
Q: What do you call two Yugos at the top of a hill? A: A miracle.
Q: How do you double the value of a Yugo? A: Fill up the gas tank.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with brakes? A: Customized.
Q: Do you know what you call a Yugo station wagon? A: We-all-go
Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster downhill? A: Turn off the engine.
Q: What is the reason for the rear window defogger on a Yugo? A: To keep your hands warm while you push it off the road on a winter day.
Q: Why don't Yugos sustain much damage in a front-end collision? A: The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q: What do you call Yugo passengers? A: Shock absorbers.
Q: How do you improve the appearance of a Yugo? A: Park it between two 914s.
Q: What makes a Yugo go faster? A: A tow truck.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire? A: A write-off.
Q: What is the smallest part of a Yugo? A: The owner's brain.
Q: What do you call someone who buys a secondhand Yugo? A: A scrap dealer.
Q: What does a Yugo buyer do to look sophisticated? A: Wears dark glasses.
Q: How do you tell the Yugo buyer from all the other people with dark glasses? A: Their the ones with the white sticks.
Q: Why do they give away free TVs with Yugos? A: So you've got something to do while waiting for the mechanic to come and fix it.
Q: What do you call a Yugo with twin exhausts? A: A wheelbarrow.
Q: What is the difference between a Yugo and a golf ball? A: You can drive a golf ball 360 yards.
Q: What's the best part of owning a Yugo? A: You can always get a handicapped spot.
Q: What do Yugos and Ferarris have in common? A: A Ferrari can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, whereas a Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
Q: How do you fix a broken Yugo? A: See The Radiator Cap Solution.
Two guys in a Yugo were arrested last night in Oakland following a push-by shooting incident.
A guy walks into an auto parts store and says, "How about an ashtray for my Yugo?"
The parts salesman thinks for a moment then says, "It sounds like a fair trade to me."
The new Yugo has an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start blowing REAL FAST!
According to the Yugo owner's manual: "If you sense an impending accident with any animate or inanimate object larger than a breadbox, quickly:
- place head between legs,
- lock hands behind head, and
- repeat: 'Our Father, who art in heaven....'"
A Yugo gets its name because "you go" and it doesn't.
Some used car dealers might try to reduce the miles on the odometer to make a car seem worth more money. With a Yugo, they add miles to try and convince you it really will go that far!
Optimist - A Yugo owner with a radar detector.
Despite their small size, Yugos are actually designed for five people; 1 person sits in the driver's seat, and the other four would get out and push.
A thief caused $39.95 damage to a Yugo. He broke in and stole "The Club" off the steering wheel.
Did you hear about the Yugo-pedestrian accident? Poor Yugo.
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