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You Might Be a Redneck Rodder If...

This one needs no explanation!

You might be a redneck rodder if...

After the Prom you drove the truck while your date hit road signs with beer bottles.
All of your four letter words are two syllables.
Fewer than half of your cars run.
Hitchhikers won't get in the car with you.
MOTEL 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.
Smog warnings are issued by the local authorities when you drive into town.
The directions to your house say "Turn off the paved road."
The dog catcher calls for a backup unit when visiting your house.
The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.
The new part you purchased for your ride cost more than your wife's wedding ring.
The only tools in your car are a pair of pliers, a large flat-tipped screwdriver, and a hammer.
The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.
The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.
There are more than five McDonald's bags currently in the floorboard of your car.
There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.
When packing for vacation, your biggest decision is whether to use paper or plastic.
You can't visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.
You consider a six-pack of beer and a bug-zapper entertainment.
You consider Ford blue, John Deere green, and primer grey as the three primary colors.
You consider old car parts nailed to a wall "Modern Art."
You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
You have a hefty bag for a passenger-side window.
You have a Hefty Bag for a passenger-side window.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You have grease under your toenails.
You have removed the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.
You have sent your wife down the road with a gas can and ask her to bring back beer.
You have towed another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
You have trouble with people parking under your truck.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.
You prefer car keys to Q-tips.
You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.
You see no need to stop at rest stops because you have an empty milk jug in the car.
You take a fishing pole into Sea World.
You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.
You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.
You wonder how service stations keep their rest rooms so clean.
You've ever cut your grass and found a car.
You've ever done your Christmas shopping at a truck stop.
You've ever driven across a pond.
You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf course.
You've ever financed a tattoo.
You've ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.
You've ever hit a deer with your car...deliberately.
You've ever parked a car in a tree.
You've ever relieved yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
You've ever requested a handicapped placard because you can't walk and chew bubble gum at the same time.
You've ever sold moonshine as a dual purpose gas additive.
You've ever spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
You've lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.
You've totaled every car you've ever owned.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes.
Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.
Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
Your grandmother has ever been asked to leave the bingo hall because of her language.
Your high school annual is now a mug shot book for the police.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
Your mother does not remove the Marlboro from her mouth before telling the state trooper to kiss her ass.
Your mother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.
Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."

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