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If Microsoft Built Cars...

And, just what if dear Bill and company did built our autos. Here is a collection of thoughts on the matter.

A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that year instead of before it.
All the useful previously standard features, such as headlights, accelerator pedal and paint, would come in an optional "Plus" pack.
Car '95 would go down in history as the "Edsel for the 90's."
Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
For lack of a better idea, and to prevent anybody from developing a unique identity for their car, all models would simply be dubbed "My Car."
If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.
If you still ran old versions of car (i.e., CarDOS 6.22 and CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.
Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes - unless, of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.
Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!
New seats would force everyone to have the same-size butt.
Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.
Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.
People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for years.
People would pay money to test drive a Microsoft Car into a wall so that Microsoft could assess their pre-release cars.
Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, and five times as fast - but it would only run on 5 percent of the roads.
The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.
The oil, engine, gas, and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
The U.S. government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker, instead of giving them.
There would be an "Engine Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.
There would be no ignition key, just a 'start' button.
They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.
We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition for a few days before it worked.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car 95 or a Car NT. But then you'd have to buy more seats.
You would constantly have to upgrade your car.
You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other.

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