Signs Your Driving School Instructor Is Nuts
The source of this one is unknown.
Your driving school instructor might be nuts if...
- he claims "road rage" was his idea.
- he touches his dashboard Jesus? (Ride home in the trunk.)
- he Makes you stop at every fire hydrant so he can urinate on it.
- she conducts lane change practice in her Jacuzzi.
- he conducts the first week's lessons in two chairs using imaginary driving motions and engine sounds.
- she insists on sitting in the back seat & being called "Miss Daisy."
- he keeps stopping in the middle of your lesson to deliver pizzas.
- he fails you unless you can get the airbag to pop.
- instead of emergency brakes on his side of the car, he has a passenger-side accelerator and a mini bar stocked with Wild Turkey and Ho Ho's.
- he has "P - R - D - 2 - 1" painted on his fly and keeps yelling, "Shift!"
- he has a working saw blade on the hood and mutters about "fixing Speed Racer for good."
- he immediately fails you because his Carmen Miranda-style hat doesn't fit in your Escort.
- on Day One, the agenda is "Chinese Fire Drills", "Basic Mooning Techniques" and "Reloading a 9mm at 90 mph."
- she always divides class into "shirts" and "skins."
- he yells "England!" You're supposed to start driving on the other side of the road.
- he insists you turn off the headlights and "use the Force."

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